Success Stories Prostate cancer success stories There is life with, and after, prostate cancer. And it is often a very good life. In many cases, of course, it is won with great effort on the part of both patient and partner. As the following success stories demonstrate, patients and their partners can overcome prostate cancer and its emotional impact-and live to work, love, and play many more days. A “Major League” battle with prostate cancer

As his New York Yankees struggled to hold onto first place in their division during one of the team's worst Septembers in history, Joe Torre took time out from his hectic schedule to call. He didn't want to talk about the Yankee ball team he's been managing for five seasons, but about his prostate cancer, and of the tremendous help he received from his wife, Ali, in dealing with all the complex issues he faced immediately after being diagnosed in early 1999. (For those of you who don't follow baseball, the Yankees eventually came out of their late-summer funk weeks later and went on to win their third consecutive World Series title.)

"Unfortunately, heart disease runs in my family," says the 60-year-old Torre, whose brother Frank received a heart transplant in 1996. "So in February, 1999, just like I do every year, I took my series of medical tests. Only this time, my cardiologist told me that my PSA level appeared to be a bit elevated and I should have it checked out again when I got down to Florida for spring training, which I did. My PSA came back at 4.5 ng/ml and my free PSA was extremely low. A biopsy was performed shortly after and came back positive. I was told that I had an aggressive cancer."

"Up until the final biopsy test result came in, Ali was in her own form of denial, in that she hoped that I didn't have cancer. But once she knew for sure, she was on my case. She is the one who did all the researching. She went on the Internet for background medical information. She bought all the books on the subject of prostate cancer and later came up with a written list of questions we needed answered by the doctor to help us in the tough decision-making process. By the time we eventually went to see the urology specialist in St. Louis, we were extremely well prepared for our appointment."

"I was numb when I got the cancer diagnosis and I don't know what I would have done if Ali hadn't been there to get me through it all. It later became very clear to me that you need a spouse or a good friend to be there for you, to keep you on level ground and to give you hope. Otherwise, saddled with the cancer diagnosis, it becomes so easy to think of your cancer as some sort of a dark hole, and that there is no way out for you. Ali and I are very lucky to have each other. I don't think I've ever felt closer to her than I did after I was diagnosed." Joe went on to have successful treatment for his prostate cancer."

About the emotional journey, his wife, Ali, said: "Prostate cancer is a difficult experience to go through. Although the prostate cancer was first and foremost about my husband's life, it would be the two of us who would have to fight this disease, both on our own and as a couple. One thing every spouse needs to do is to educate herself about prostate cancer. Get all the information you can so you are on the same page as your doctor and can ask intelligent questions."

"What also proved to be very important for us was an effective and extensive support system. I was lucky enough to have my sisters, parents, and a wonderful group of friends who were there for me when I needed to cry on someone's shoulder. Having support, whether from your loved ones, or from a prostate cancer support group, allows you to feel less alone in this truly dark time. Outside support allows you to vent your feelings, to zero in on what's really important, and offers you the necessary arena for solving problems."

-- From the Johns Hopkins Prostate Bulletin

Dealing with impotence

“I'm 57, married, 4 months post (RP), undetectable PSA so far, continent & impotent. My spirits are generally very good: optimistic, getting more exercise than I used to, enjoying life. I knew I was getting into something serious when I opted for the surgery and possible impotence. The possibility of impotence sounded grim, but less so than being dead.

“My wife is smart, savvy, sympathetic and supportive, yet I knew I wasn't getting across what was going on. At first I was only able to say to her that I was missing erections and our old sex. She did/does too, but we are working our way through that (different) problem. So it didn't seem to be such a large issue to her. However, when it hit me that I was mourning the loss of a whole relationship, and talked with her about it, then we both began to appreciate the depth and complexity of the problem."

“So now my wife knows what I mean. She likened it a little to the sad part of her feelings about menopause. That's what we all do: we grope around trying to find parallels to help us feel another's pain, but, of course, we only end at best by understanding it better with our minds. Orgasms aren't gone, they are just more work.”

-- “Robert”

The personal touch

“I must say that my sexuality has improved since my husband's radical prostatectomy. My partner's inability [to get an erection] has nurtured a lot of creativity that we didn't bother with too much previously. It has opened a whole new world for both of us and I LIKE it! Both of us remain orgasmic and enjoy each other for longer periods of time than previously.

“Note, too, that my partner was diagnosed with kidney cancer at the time of the abdominal scans immediately following the diagnosis of prostate cancer. He spent last summer undergoing two major surgeries, the kidney first, it being the most life threatening. Both were found early and no further treatment was required. We feel lucky to have been fortunate enough to find them early and that has contributed to our positive mental state (lucky to be alive) which in turn contributes to our enjoyed, appreciated, cherished ability to please each other in bed.”

-- “Carol”

“The best thing that ever happened to me.”

Over the dining table one Christmas, poet Ric Masten's family took turns revealing the best thing that had happened to them that year. When his turn came, Masten, an author of 14 books, said the best thing that happened to him was prostate cancer.

"In the past few months, I've done more living than I have in years," Masten said. "I've thrown the ball more to Zizi [his dog] here than I used to ... I take walks with my wife before breakfast. We took time out to spend one of the most wonderful evenings of our lives at the Post Ranch. And when she tells me to see the sunset, I will take time out to come and look. Before, I used to say, 'You've seen one, you've seen them all.' But when you're diagnosed with cancer..."

After her husband’s successful treatment for prostate cancer, Masten’s wife, Billie Barbara, agrees that the cancer was a blessing in disguise. With a twinkle in her eye, Billie says, “He’s more loving now.”

-- from The Herald, Monterey County, California

“You don’t give up!”

When Virgil Miller was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1990, he had few options. But his doctor told him then he made the right decision, and Miller said he'd still make the same decision today. That year, Miller visited a urologist, had a digital rectal exam (DRE) and four biopsies. His PSA count was 20, he said.

After the biopsy, Miller got another call. "They just said — boom — it indicated that you've got prostate cancer," he said. "I felt like I'd walked around a corner and somebody just all of the sudden hit me with a baseball bat. And my first response was, 'What's my prognosis?' Because to me, cancer meant a death sentence."

Patricia, his wife, went with him to meet with the doctor. "He said [the cancer] was small, and growing slowly, so I had time,” Miller said. He set out on a successful course of treatment. It was about a year after treatment before he felt like talking about his experience. At that time he began to feel he was "ready to give something back." He got involved with his local American Cancer Society (ACS), and the Man to Man [support group] program.

"I guess I was one of the few men that was willing to talk about my situation," he said. He's been a volunteer since 1993 and has served on the board of volunteers for two terms.

"One of the things I try to talk to guys about… is quality of life issues," he said. "I always tell people, 'you know it's a husband/wife thing, you know it’s something the two of you need to sit down and talk about.'"

Miller has also donated his time and his voice to the American Cancer Society — speaking publicly about prostate cancer, and spending countless hours in the studio recording public service announcements and working on commercials with a local television station to raise awareness.
And he carries the message to his friends, too. "I've had several guys say they didn't want to have that digital rectal exam, and I said, 'you know you're only talking about a second or two of discomfort. Is your life worth that?'

"I think there are enough [treatment] options available out there today that you just look at it in a positive manner that yes, I'm going to win this," Miller said. "Most cancer survivors — that's the theme that they talk about. You become a fighter. You don't give up."

-- From The American Cancer Society, Inc.

 

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